Fun times

I love when God makes allows me to stop and delight in the simple joys in my life. Like watching my kids enjoy their Christmas presents (LEGO'S), or catching snow on their tongue, or just being silly. Its been a GREAT week, but I still have those moments of being overwhelmed with catching up on ALL those things I am behind on. And to be honest, I have an impatient nature of also letting myself get aggravated with the children over things like asking me twenty questions through the bathroom door, while I am not only trying to go to the bathroom, but also, if we can be honest, blogging. Hey sorry ladies, but its the truth. Men take their crosswords and newspapers to the bathroom, I take the laptop....don't judge.
Anywho, I like these small moments caught on the camera, that remind me of the simple joys of family. Times when they are playing peacefully next to me with legos (I feel my kids' insane obsession with legos is God's reward to me for getting rid of tv.), or happily running outside to play, even in 30 degree weather, or when they happily sit at my feet for a bible reading, it all reminds me that God has a lot in store for this family. Just when i think we are dysfunctional, God shows me are normal, because HE is making us into His image. He is changing our family every hour of everyday. He never stops sharpening and smoothing out the rough edges, that come from sin and years of worldly living. Keep it up Father, I likes what I see. WE are hopeless without you. Praise you for your love.

Merry Christmas everyone.

So this is the day after Christmas, and I have to say, with the exception of my mom's flight getting canceled, it was a beautiful, Christ filled day my hubby and kids. We didn't do anything "special", just stayed in the house all day. we did gifts exchange, then breakfast, then played dominoes together, then lunch, then afternoon naps, then dinner. Fun, and peaceful. It was great. I hope all of your christmas' were filled with the peace of Christ.

Sandwiched.

I named this post "Sandwiched" because that is precisely how I am describing our car accident yesterday. Our poor minivan (and us too!) were sandwiched in between two trucks. We were pulling up to a light behind a truck (I am thinking an f250 or something of the like), just as were had come to a stop I looked in the review mirror and saw how fast the truck behind us was headed our way. I said out loud "Oh God that guy is not going to stop", just then I (dummy!!) turned my head around and watched him slam into us. Well I did not watch for long as we were hit so hard we were driven feet ahead and into the truck in front of us. When it all stopped the kids were screaming so loud I was certain they must have been hurt. But after a few seconds of consoling I realized they were probably more scared than anything. Within seconds my husband and I joined hands and trembled through a prayer begging God to let us be alright. Just after that I realized my head felt dizzy and was throbbing in my forehead near my right eye. I looked at my hubby and said "babe, babe, I hit my head, I hit head" He was out and checking on the kids and looked at me, more scared than I have ever seen him. He was consoling his two screaming kids, and looking at a wife who had a huge knot on her face. At that point I knew my neck hurt really bad, and I had no idea how I hit my head, or what I hit it on. The ambulance and fire and police came so fast. They ended up putting my neck in a collar and me on a gurney. I asked if my daughter could come with me (she has some attachment issues and is always scared to leave me), they said yes and loaded me and her into the ambulance. It was really scary but as we rode to the hospital I knew I would be OK. I had figured out that my bump on my head hurt like heck, but it was minor, and my neck hurt really bad, but I was sure it was just whiplash and nothing broken. They took x-rays and said I was OK. My husband arrived at the hospital and looked so heartsick it made me cry. He just wanted to help all of us and didn't know how. He just kept holding the kids and me and telling us he loved us. It was scary and precious at the same time. God was so with us. The accident could have caused us much more serious injuries. As for me I am getting further checked out tomorrow for whiplash and my bump on my face (which feels like to me might have busted or injured my sinus cavity. My neck hurts, but I know my body will heal. I also have a minor bruise where the seat belt grabbed me at the chest. As for my children, my daughter has a hurt head where something (we can't figure out what) struck her in the back of the head. She has a big bump where it struck her and it is quite bruised. She also has a strained rib or something. her ribs hurt when she moves too much (she also is being checked out tomorrow), but she has been OK enough to move around and do things, so I don't believe it's serious, but who knows. My son seems completely fine. He complains of no pain at all. God was with us for sure. My husband seems to have injured knees and probably has whiplash also. We are not a fun bunch to be around right now because all we say all day is "ouchie ouchie, that hurt" or "owwwwww! I forgot that bump was there".
What I have to say about it all, is this, God is good ALL the time. He protected us for sure. It should have been much worse. Also, our spirits are high. We are filled with His peace and are very thankful that we are OK. Good thing God taught me about bitterness BEFORE this all happened, huh? His timing is perfect. Had I still been bitter about all the other stuff I would have just added this to my list. That would have been ugly. Yesterday we also found it important to pray and ask God to bless the man who hit us. We knew we had to forgive him and not only that but speak blessings over him (in accordance with scripture). It was so good to do, and such an awesome lesson for the kids. All in all, we are good. I am in pain, and I still see the truck hitting us every time I close my eyes, but I know those things will fade. The miracle of feeling God's closeness during this time will not. Praise be to Him from whom all blessings flow.

The root of bitterness.

Today I disclose my well kept secret....... I harbor bitterness. Well, I did, until I finally confessed it the other day (after MONTHS of the Lord speaking to my hard heart, mind you). Interesting thing is, it was a light bulb moment when I finally saw it. I don't get too many of those. God usually takes me step by step when revealing something to me. And maybe He had been doing that but I was not listening. Either way, about a week or so ago God said enough is enough and crashed my world. Nothing would go right. My marriage was not going right, actually it was going horribly horribly wrong. My mothering had turned into something reminiscent of a screen clip of "mommy dearest". Even mentoring and encouraging other women(which is my spiritual gift) had turned dry. I had no passion to really encourage anyone. All I heard in my mind was "why won't someone encourage me?" wahh wahh wahhh (**me crying like a selfish baby**)
Then one night a few days after we had moved I realized I really had no control over anything in my life, nor did I even enjoy life. I didn't want to wake up the next day and live, what seemed to me, my dreary pointless life. Now that's the bad part, here is the good part. It was like it flashed before my eyes, immediately I could see all the bitterness in me like a disease. It was festering and affecting all areas of my life. My marriage, my mothering, my friendships, my joy and my relationship with my sweet heavenly Father. All this time I thought it was "them" and God was showing me it was ......(gasp)....ME. "What happened??" I asked myself, and God impressed upon me "you let bitterness take over. It took root first in a small area of your heart when you became unforgiving with your husband, then the root grew bigger and bigger as you allowed yourself to become jealous over the lives of other people, then the root of bitterness consumed you and became a firmly established tree when you said in your heart that 'truly it was God who had not spared you this pain, and it was God who knew how hard this would all be and yet pulled away, it was God who gave you a desire for a child yet withheld that very dream from you'"
I had done what I would have sworn I would never do, I had blamed God deep deep down, and had not even admitted it to myself. That is until He would not allow me to live in sin and denial any longer. It was killing me, inside and out. I had become the person I never wanted to be......bitter and without joy. Praise the Lord he never leaves us where we are. He simply says (to quote Beth Moore) "get out of that pit!" Anyhow, after about a day of pure confession before the Lord and some pretty good repentant apologies to my husband and children, I am happy to say I am feeling much much better. Although I do still have to watch out for bitterness. You see it became a deeply entrenched habit. Self pity and prideful accusations of "I don't deserve this" come quick to the brain, and they must be countered with God's word, which is why (duh) we must be in it! Praise the Lord that during that time I had not allowed myself to stop reading His word. I felt little joy in reading it at the time, but God's word never returns void and He is using it faithfully to restore me to the faith I once had.....my first love.

Lord, praise your holy name for caring for humans at all, least of all me and my pathetic attempts at life. You care for me that much that you will not let me get away with sin. It really is true that you wish for us to "have life to the full". You are so very good. Keep refining me Lord.
Valerie

Moved!

Settled at last.
To be finally settled and not totally living in transition feels amazing. To be sure, I have not totally unpacked yet, we still have plenty of boxes and home school shelves waiting for me, and yes we are still eating out more than eating in, until we rebuild our pantry and fridge with food. But still, there is something to be said for having mirrors and paintings on the wall and clothes hung up in the closets. It is starting to feel like home. Home. Strange for me even to say. I had grown so fond of my “home” in Arkansas, I would have never dreamed calling a rental is some random city in Oklahoma “home”. But I guess it is true what they say, home is where your heart is. Or where Husband and children are. :)
We just got Internet the other day so I am spending a lot of time catching up on emails and facebook bills. I can’t wait to have a free moment soon tonight to catch up on blog world. You all inspire me to be better, with how I have been acting lately, I could use it!
Pictures to come! This time I wont promise, but I will say that I have a distinct feeling I will be getting a camera for Christmas :)
I will be back soon with lots of posts on all God is teaching me lately. (there have been some hard personal discoveries that God is weeding out of me. When it is a little less painful I will write all about it.)

Pictures here, pictures everywhere.

Here are some pictures from the road trip. It was long and hard, but we had a lot of fun. I always do on roadtrips. The glory of God shines through His creation, and His creation can truly be seen driving across this great country. Anyhow, enjoy! Right like that's really all you wanted for Christmas, was pictures from my roadtrip, ha ha ha.

home for now.

I am home from my trip and the first thing I have to do is say......I lied. OK well actually I didn't lie, I mis-spoke. You see I thought I would have TONS of pictures for you when I got back, but actually I have none, since my husband wanted to keep the camera at home, and my dad only let me take pictures in the car. SOOOOOOOO when my dad lets me borrow his camera so I can download the pictures, then I will have pictures for you. Until then please forgive me for saying "I will post TONS of pictures as soon as I get back!". My bad.

So I am home from my trip, but not for long since we are moving on Monday. Never mind that this is the third time we have said we are moving. It is kind of frustrating to think you are going to move mid-November, box up your stuff, have your hubby quit his current job, find a rental, sign a lease agreement in a new state, turn on utilities and internet, ONLY to find out you cant actually move till late November, only to find out you can't move till December, only to find out that you don't know when they will pay you to move so you finally make the decision to pay the hundreds of dollars to move yourselves just to be over the craziness! Oh look there I go venting and complaining again.......but hey, that's what the blog is for right? No? OK well maybe not, but I am incapable of typing anything else. I am surrounded by boxes, so moving seems to stay heavy on my mind.

Now I am off to read all your wonderful, uplifting, holiday cheer spreading, hilarious blogs! Just disregard mine and come back in a week, I am sure I will be a more gracious blog host :)

California Dreamin

I am in California visiting family on a last minute (truly only knew 48 hours before I left) Thanksgiving visit. Things are going so badly with our move and waiting for orders so that we CAN move, that my husband told me and the kids to go visit my family because he felt so bad. Gotta love that guy! So, even though I am missing my hubby, and the drive was two days and relentless, I am loving being here in California. I will update you all soon with TONS of pictures when I get back. xoxoxo

(p.s. Celee I drove right past your area and was tempted to stop and say hi. But my dad, who was riding with us, said no :( Maybe I will honk on my way home really loud and you will know its me)

What Blog?

Hey all, where have you been??? I miss you all so much. Blog world is funny, kind, inspiring, and gives all sorts of great advice, but you must have one magic ingredient.....TIME. Lately, time is sort of a funny thing. Getting ready for this move (I move Monday), I have seen "time" shift in crazy ways. Gone are the days of routine. Now the days are a crazy mix of chaotic non-stop "to-do" lists, and then times of completely having nothing to do. However, as usual, God has taught me much during these times (as with all times). I have seen that when I am not soooo busy, I am loving just taking time to spend with my husband (who is not working currently) and kids. Just drinking them in ya know? We are having a good time, even in the midst of the stress. I am not saying we have not had stressful days, because we have (My friend Adena, can attest to that)!
However I love watching God bring us closer together, even through the really hard stuff. Anything really stressful like, being unemployed, planning a move, dealing with family drama, and trying to sell a house, causes my hubby and I to get a little bit crazy irritable. I wish we could claim we really had this whole marriage thing figured out, we don't. But I do know we serve a gracious God who delivers us from the paths of selfishness and worry that we put ourselves on, and puts us back on the "better" road, for His sake and ours. To sum it up, things have been crazy over here, but God is faithful. I miss bloggy world like you would not believe, but I just don't have the time. Hopefully I will hear from you all very very soon! xoxoxox
Val

fall

Here are some pictures of the kiddos playing in the leaves this fall. Funny how they decided to rake them. Instead of putting them in a big pile like most kids, they put them in a circle and sat in the middle for hours doing little things. I thought it was cute, but the neighbors and friends called it our wicca circle.....yikes!

Our perfect family evening

I have to admit, I'm an old fuddy duddy sometimes. I struggle with my age. I am 28 but often times feel as though I am well into my forties.I lived a crazy life for a while there as a teen. I won't go into the extreme or the horribly personal, but mostly it was bad. From 16 to 19, I lived as the young man lived in the story of the prodigal son. I squandered all I had, I smoked, I drank, partied, tattooed and pierced myself (often), and finally had something happen to me that brought me to my knees. Luckily, that's exactly where GOD is! To say the least I was saved, to say more, I was changed and so was my entire life. It was not extremely fast. It was slow, just me and God taking it one step at a time. Each time He whispered into my ear, "don't you think it's time to give this up Valerie?" I quit smoking at 19 and quit drinking at 20, just shy of the legal age to start. Flash forward 8 years and now this is what I consider a GREAT time.
Doing a puzzle with my two sweet kids and the hubby. I love those nights. The nights where nobody is on the computer, and everyone just want's to sit and be together. I wish I could say this happens every night. It does not. My hubby and I have bad habits of selfishness and often (prepare yourselves!) even laziness when it comes to really good quality time together. I think its because we homeschool we feel we are "around" each other all the time. Which is true, but quantity time is not a replacement for Quality. So at the end of the day it's true, this tattooed wild child, now loves nothing more than just being together with my family, knowing God is there with us, loving us, and willing us to love each other.

A dying breed.

We did this project for Jacob's math. It involved making a graph of all the different hair colors in your family. It was so easy and fun, any kindergartner would enjoy it. Would you believe in all my family we only have ONE blond? Poor Auntie Jamie :(

side note: you can also do this graph with pictures. Just cut out pictures of that persons face (which of course includes their hair), and put them on the graph like I did with the pieces of colored construction paper.

side note #2: Yes my daughter is in her pajamas, we are homeschoolers, what can I say? And YES she is posing instead of my kindergartner because she LOVES having her picture taken. ;)

Mislead

Things these days are misleading, there is no doubt about it. I personally have been mislead many times. I don't like the feeling of it. The most dangerous kind of misleading though happens within the church body. I was a HUGE fan of an online church until tonight. The pastor was biblical and spot on. Of course as with ANYONE we did not see eye to eye on everything, but those things were "gray area" things. However tonight I was watching one of his sermons online and he had a guest speaker. A man who he praised for being an amazing pastor and a personal influence in his life. I listened as this man began to speak, I had great anticipation for the message he would bring. The message He brought however left a bad taste in my mouth, and a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. To sum it up, he used Acts 15, in which there was great discussion going on about putting a heavy yoke upon the gentile believers by telling them they must be circumcised and obey the laws of Moses, or they were not saved. So the discussion in Acts continues until finally James makes the command, after listening to Paul and Barnabas, that the gentile believers should not have to have stumbling blocks, such as circumcision and total obedience to laws, put in there walk with Christ. The "guest speaker" then goes on to say, and I am totally being honest, that the cross of Christ and even Jesus himself, is a stumbling block to some people in church and should not be put upon them so that they can continue to draw closer to God. UMMMMMMMM we CANNOT draw closer to God without CHRIST!!!!!! wow, I am totally upset about this. He, this pastor, also says that churches need to be open to every single person because the gospel is for everyone. Even those who hate Christ, should be welcomed and NOT offended by having Crosses up and such.
POINT #1 In Acts 15 they were talking about putting a yoke on those ALREADY saved. Not on the unsaved "seekers".
POINT #2 The "Church" is not a building, it is a gathering of BELIEVERS. True, the gospel is for everyone, the entire world actually. But the Church is the body of Christ, comprised of his followers, his believers. We bare no responsibility in making Christs body, our church, seeker friendly to those who hate Jesus.
POINT #3 IF you remove Jesus and his Cross, because he is a stumbling block on their way to God, you have then just removed THEIR ONLY WAY to God. Jesus said I am the WAY the TRUTH and the LIFE. If people are offended by Jesus, and/or the cross, then they need to be at home in prayer, or reading their bibles, and listening to God who is drawing them to Christ, not IN CHURCH!
POINT#4 It is the job of God, via the Holy Spirit, to draw people to God, using whatever means He deems necessary, including, but not limited to, our lives as Christians, our mouths, and God's Word. It is not the job of the church to have the right atmosphere, of non offensive wall decor, or music, in order to make people comfortable with God.
POINT#5 To be perfectly clear, I would NEVER turn away a person who wants to be in church to learn more. However, I would never change, worship or doctrine, to better suit the unbeliever, in doing so making myself believe that somehow that might help give them a "leg up" to Christ.

A note of apology.

I am sorry, number one if this was written in a way that has offended anyone. I do not apologize for my content, but if it is written in rude way, I apologize. But most importantly I apologize for having the link to this "online church" on my blog. I truly hope I have not played a role in the misleading of any new believer. I am praying for the pastor of it, whom I still love, and know has a heart for God. I am very concerned about this pastor whom he watches and learns from though. Tonight I am praying for them both,and all the thousands of people who attend these campuses and watch online.

STOCKINGS!!

Are we too early to be talking about stockings???? Well, some say yes some say no. To me, it is not too early to be talking about MAKING stocking because it will take me that long to do any project!!! lol
Anyhow, join this blog in her attempts to make HANDMADE Christmas stuff. I LOVE the stocking idea that I linked you to. I am definitely going to do it.
ENJOY!

Heartache

Nothing gives a swift painful kick to a Mamma's heart like watching her child suffer. On the same note, a ripple effect of heartaches go out to other Mamma's who feel for this mom and her child. We cannot help but picture ourselves in the same situation. And we ache right along with her. Please read about this precious boy and his sweet family, and if God leads you to pray for them, please please do.

Rainy day snowmen

I have a confession to make.....I am a homeschooling mother who does not like to do crafts with her kids(gasp!). There, I said it. Shhhhhhhh don't tell anyone! It seems to me, and I may be mistaken, that every homeschooling mommy I know, is great about doing crafts with her kids. They all seem to be so inventive and genius at it. They throw caution and glitter into the wind and fill their houses with beautiful creations. I look at paper,glitter and glue, and all I see is a very big mess. How very sad, right?? I really an working on it. I do break my "bad mothering" habit every once in a while and then I feel so proud of myself that I have to take pictures! So here they are, our snowmen (and snow ladies).

Trouble Hearing?

My daughter "I"...."thanks Jacob, your a lifesaver!"
My son "J"...."Where's a light Saber?"
"I"....."never mind"
"J"......"wait where is the light Saber????"
"I"......"Nooo J, I said 'LIFESAVER' "
"J"...... "Oh, what is a 'Lifesaver'?"

"teeheeeteehheee gahhhhahhhahha".......mommy giggling in the background.

I love him

I find it hilarious that whenever I am feeling particularly "in love" with my hubby I sing an old old song in my head that I remember my dad playing when I was a kid. It was NOT from my generation, but my dad and mom happened to be big fans of "oldies but goodies". So I sing this sing in honor of my hubby, who has done so much lately for our family. Love you sweetie!~



"I love Him, I love Him, I love Him,
And where He goes,
I'll follow, I'll follow, I'll follow.
he'll always be my true love, my true love, my true love
from now until forever, forever, forever

I will follow Him,
Follow Him wherever He may go,
There isn't an ocean too deep,
A mountain so high it can keep,
Keep me away, away from His love..."

Can you hear me singing? OH no? well I am really good! sorry you missed out...

Stay at home mom

Interesting that sometimes the last thing I want to do is stay at home. Too many years spent in the city. Too many wild days as a teen spent go go going. However today I sampled how wonderful and blessed it is to be ABLE to stay at home. What an amazing gift. I traveled a lot over these last few days, driving to Oklahoma and looking for rentals. We spent hours upon hours in the car, and our little guy got sick (you can tell he is our youngest since he is 5 and a half and I still call him our little guy).
We came home last night and he had a raging fever all throughout the night. I woke up and babied him all day long. The fever continued while I rocked him throughout. I cooked for my hubby before he went to work, folded laundry, and homeschooled my daughter. We all sat around later in the evening, watched movies and played candyland. It was so nice just to be able to be there,with them, ya know? Even when all your doing is giving a sick little boy some Tylenol and teaching your 8 year old about God, the world, math and spelling. Sometimes I forget how amazing it is that I am able to stay home. IF I was forced to go to work, or for some unknown reason, WANTED to go to the workforce everyday, I would miss these moments and only come home to the work part of being a mom. I am not looking down on working moms, I am simply saying, I can't believe how blessed it is to be home. It is so easy to forget, most people do not live this life. Some by circumstance, some by choice. Either way, should we not thank God every single day, He has showed us to live this way and provided an opportunity in which to live it?
It's sad, that most women are told and even indoctrinated by our society to believe, they can't stay at home. They are told "you HAVE to have two incomes or you are not contributing to the family", "You will go crazy sitting home all day doing nothing. A job helps you feel important and more like a part of the society", Your kids need day care and preschool, think of all the new things they learn there"

I have heard it all before. Thankfully I was too utterly selfish to believe any of it. I loved my kids and wasn't going to part from them for all the world. Sadly, women who are more selfless than I are believing the lie that you do your family a disservice by staying home. Unfortunately, just the opposite is true. And sometimes, sadly they have no choice, even when they desire to stay home. However I feel for most of us, we have a choice.
There have been times I was tempted. I was schooled in the ways of this world too, and most of my family, although meaning well, have pushed unceasingly for 8 years for me to go back to college or learn a trade. To become a part of society. Unfortunately if more women don't start returning home to their families we will have NO society.
(OK I warned in the very first post on this blog I may offend some. This is my opinion, and the wisdom I feel I have learned from the Word. Please do not hold yourself to my standard, but only that of God himself. Also understand I would not have written this flippantly, I am passionate about this topic, and only write out of that passion and love for families. )


How wonderful, that this is one of the last things I see at the end of my day..

Learning a new way

Learning new things is hard. I would love to believe that I enjoy learning new things, and sometime I do, but other times, it just seems too hard. As I mentioned in a previous post, I am reading a book a friend loaned me. Tuff stuff. No, that's not the name of the book, but it should have been. It is called "Created To Be His Help Meet". Can anyone guess what it's about? Anybody? Yes. It's about our role as help meet. Now I have not finished the book so I can't say whether or not I agree with everything in it, but so far, she has made some very valid points. Some scary points too. Yet, even though she shows scripture, why is it so hard for me to accept the word "ROLE"? Could it have anything to do with the fact that I was raised in a non-Christian home through the 80's and 90s, educated in the public school system, and systematically taught that women should never be put into a "role"? I am thinking maybe. Throw into that mix I was far from the south growing up in Southern California. Women in the south may not always like their role as domestic diva, but at least they do it with a fake smile and big poofy hair. Modern city girls like me however just flat refuse to serve men. That is of course until I vowed my life to Jesus. The most amazing Man ever. So here I sit knowing that Jesus wants me in his word, and is revealing to me things like, submission, and respect, and quiet and gentle spirits. What? OK, so I guess I do see, how men and women could be equally valued in the eyes of God, yet have two totally different roles. And I am also very grateful to be female and not male. I don't want all that responsibility that they have. But when it comes right down to it, complete submission (AND doing it with a smile nonetheless) is hard to do with the stubborn man I am married to. I love that man with every bone in my body, but there are some times, it is really hard with him.
"Who said everything was going to be easy?"
"ummm God, please don't interrupt, I am trying to blog and make many women feel sorry for me"
"Valerie, Seriously?"
"sorry God, your right. As always"

Anyhow, what was I saying? OH yeah, my husband is a stubborn OX..........I mean sometimes my sweet man can be a tad bit difficult. However, I am certain that that is exactly what anyone who has met me would say about me. SO if God knew all this, why did he put us together, with our strong emotional, annoying personalities? Because he knew one day we would both look to Him for direction and He would tell us the formula. Part of it is found in Ephesians 5
" 22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—"

You see there it is. Instructions for Him and instructions for me. I am OK with the submit part, it's the part after that that drives me bonkers. You know the part, the one that says ".....IN EVERYTHING".

here is an excerpt from the book I thought interesting..

"God's perfect will is that I learn to be the best help meet possible. My husband is highly attracted to my smile. I want my husband to love me. "A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"(proverbs 15:13) Being pitiful, hurt, discouraged and even sickly is one side of a "bad marriage" coin. Men in general, (your husband in particular), are repulsed by women who project this image. A man's spirit tells him his woman is rejecting him and manipulating him when she regularly manifests a broken spirit, and he will react with anger. The other side of the bad coin includes having a bitter , angry, and resentful spirit.
Toss that old, destructive coin out the door before it buys you a divorce. God's will is for a wife to have a merry heart and a glow that will refresh the most stressed and tired husband on the planet. Bubbling cheer goes a long way to maintain or even restore a marriage. Make a decision right now to break the "poor me" habit. Today put it down as sin, rebellion, and then tomorrow, wake up with joy in your heart and home. Establish a new habit. What can I do that will make him smile?"

Did she seriously just ask me to spend the day thinking of how to make ANOTHER person smile??? Well It can't hurt I guess, so here goes. Goodbye stressed, overworked Valerie, Hello smiley girl who adores her husband. I will let you know how it goes.

OUCH!!

OK be forewarned, I am reading a book called "Created To Be His Helpmeet" by Debi Pearl. First of all, its a very interesting book. Second of all it makes me want to throw it against the wall. Third of all, sadly, it is true. It is brutal, and I mean brutal honesty about a woman's biblical roll, and the part her disobedience to that plays in harming her marriage. SNAP! here I was thinking it was the fault of these big ol' dumb men. :)
Anyhow, I will be posting on this for the next week. If I posted on every amazing, albeit hard, truth I am learning in this book, I would never post anything else. However, since I am sure that you, like me, don't want to hear for the next few years how its all pretty much all our fault, I am going to limit the posts to just the next few
STAY TUNED!

Spiritual gifts

I am not one to claim to know very much at all about spiritual gifts. I know God gave us spiritual gifts, I know everyone is unique, and yet at the same time, you can find many in your local body of believers with the same gifts. My pastor's wife at my old church (who I love! and consider to me my spiritual mentor and sister) once handed out some sheets of papers on discerning your spiritual gifts. Now these things were not cut and dry, they were just information and suggestions, but I figured out mine and it really made sense. My problem was, I didn't know what I should be doing to USE my gifts. I know everyone should be using what God has given to them for the kingdom of God, but I didn't know then what it looked like in my own life.
A few months ago God showed me something and I realized that you will know for a fact your spiritual gift because you will swell with love for people when you are doing it. For instance, if your gift is teaching, your will love those in whom you are trying to teach, even if you don't know them, God's love will consume you for them. It may look like this; say you are gifted in Exhortation, then your heart will swell with Godly love for someone who just an hour before totally annoyed you because she is always messing up her own life and never listens to anyone, blah blah blah. Then all of the sudden she rings your door bell and truly wants you advice so you sit her down and cry with her and hold her hand and speak truth into her disheveled life. You want nothing more in the world in that moment than this one person to find wholeness in the Lord and work everything out.
I may not be making any sense (I usually don't) but what I am trying to say is that I have realized lately, especially TODAY, that you are never more fulfilled than when you are using your gifts in the way God has designed you to use them.

I had a planned lunch today with two young girls (15) who I used to teach in Sunday School. I wanted to get together with them before I left for Oklahoma. I had not invested much time into them at all since I had quit last year. Sadly, my typical selfish self was not really excited about going. I had a lot of homeschooling to catch up on, and a house waiting to be cleaned. Not to mention my husband switched someone shifts so that he could watch the kids while I went. Honestly I sort of wanted to just stay home with the hubby and kids. But instead as I got ready this morning I prayed that God would be with me and that He would give me words of love, truth and encouragement for them. WOW! little did I know how much I would need that prayer! As I sat and talked with them over lunch I realized (sensed) that things were not right with them. Now I am not saying all my girls were always easy and right with the Lord and they had just not been doing their quiet time. On the contrary. Most of the girls I taught the two years I did, were very troubled and had numerous sinful behaviors, and I doubted the salvation of 90% of them. But these two girls looked really different. I could see it in their countenance. They were distant from God. Really distant. As I got to talking to them, I realized just how distant. I was lead by the Lord to speak about true salvation to both them (two girls I had taught EVERY SUNDAY for two years about the Lord). They opened up to me about their doubts about God, his existence, His goodness, and His calling for righteousness. IT was AMAZING! God is so good. At that moment, when I was doing what God made me to do on this earth (Exhortation and Prophecy), I felt so much love for those two girls, they could have been my daughters and I would not have loved them more. It was God's love. Beautiful and unconditional. It had to be with some of the stuff they were telling me. I say all that to say, Get out there! Use your gifts, you will never regret that lunch meeting, or inviting that odd neighbor over, or teaching that class, or speaking truth to someone who needs it. Just do it. You were made for a purpose.
P.S. In no way am I saying that being a mom and wife is not a purpose. Its clearly biblical that it is. I am saying, however, that while you are a wife and a mother, God will strategically place people in your life that will not interfere with that, but will stretch you to step outside the home on occasion to do it. But with me many of the times have been having a desperate women in my living room that badly needed a friend and a shoulder to lean on. So in that case you don't even have to physically leave your home! :)

sharing a room

I used to think my kids HAD to have separate rooms. This necessity in American culture is rubbish. Having ones own room is fine, but I think every kid should at one point in their life HAVE to share a room. What a fantastic lesson in sharing and can even prepare them for marriage in a way. I have to say, I have not always been happy about sharing a room with my hubby. :)
My kids always had their own room, but for the past 6 months they have shared one. Sometimes it's a challenge but it always works out.
Benefits to sharing:
1- They learn to search out a private space rather than assuming its a right to be given one
2- The family learns to become minimalist because you can only fit so many clothes in one closet
3- Children who squabble all day end up sleeping like this......


Now I do have to say that if we get a bigger sized house my children ( I have only two....so far) will probably get their own rooms, but that is ONLY because they are opposite gender and my oldest is 8 and gets really tired of her brother walking in on her changing-----gasp! :)

Pajama day

OK I know this is a little silly to some, but some days I JUST LOVE being a homeschool mom. Sure there are those days where I think to myself I have lost my mind to take this wonderful enormous task on, but most days I am just plain grateful. Today was one of those days. I had a lot to do today, but I got started schooling early (which always helps)and before I knew it, it was noon, I was baking bread and realized we ALL were still in our Pajamas. I declared a full on Pajama day and got our stuff done and totally neglected things like putting on clothes or brushing hair. I however was so busy keeping the house clean (we had to show the house TWICE today) That I stayed in my PJ's till 5pm. There you have it ladies, proof (as if you needed any more) that I am far from perfect. Here are some cute pics of my cute kids in their PJ's.
(p.s yes my son is making a silly face, and yes I do reward with cheeze its from time to time)

new plan

Round and round and round they go, where they will move nobody knows!!!!
I laugh as I type that. I have been singing that song for three days straight. I have gone way past having any control. Just the way God likes it huh? So Washington is out, Oklahoma is in. LOOOOOOOOOONNNNNGGGGGG story on how that came about, but now we will be moving to western Oklahoma for a six month contract. While waiting and praying we will hope to hear back from some of our "better" opportunities that Hubby has sent his Resume to. We like this plan A LOT better. So I am content. At the end of that six months, only the Lord himself knows where we will go. We don't know where we will live in 6 months, but at least for now, we have an idea of where we are headed to next month. I love what God says in Isaiah about knowing better than we when it comes to plans....""I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go."
No more grumbling like the Israelites in the desert. I will go where you lead Lord. You are good.

His Peace...

OK, so I haven't posted because....(sigh) my life is boring. Well not really. By boring I mean nothing new, fun or exciting to post. I have been cleaning, and ummmm cleaning, and, well lets see, cleaning some more! The good news about all this is I have been overwhelmed. Why is that a good thing, you ask? Well let me tell you. God sometimes speaks the most incredible truths into your life during these, "boring" stressful times. I was super stressed the other day, thinking about the big move, and all my cool stuff I am going to miss that's here, and all the dreaded cleaning, to get ready to sell. I sat down for my time of prayer and devotional journal, when I read a cool thing by one of my favorite authors. She said "If you knew you were going to die tonight , what treasure would you leave your loved ones? Something valuable to you, I'm sure. Just before His crucifixion, Christ said :'Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let you hearts be troubled and do not be afraid' (John 14:27). In this verse Jesus left something immensely valuable----peace.
.........For reasons pertaining to eternal glory, Christ may not instantly remove your pain, your thorn, or your sickness, but beloved, regardless of the trial, you can receive His peace. It is your legacy. Your inheritance. Your right. You need not remain in turmoil. Nothing breaks His heart more than our refusal to be at peace in Him. Christ offers you peace. Today and everyday. Claim it now"

After reading that I realized, the only reason I do not have peace is because I am refusing it. NOT because God has not offered it. I can choose to have His peace through these transitions in my life, or not. God you are so good! To even speak to such a pitiful display of a follower like myself is beyond my understanding.

back online!

Dear Wonderful Blog World,
The other day we lost internet in a power outage. This morning my hubby finally got it all figured out and now I am back online. OH how I have missed you sweet blog world! Sweet sweet blog world, never stay so far away again!
love your devoted follower,
Valerie

These are the best of times, these are the worst of times.

First off, I am on a total High right now all due to this blog, go there and read why. LOVE HER!
I am also having a wonderful time tonight because my house is almost completely clean and tidy and ready for the real estate agent tomorrow. It has been a lot of work, but was a little easier tonight since I hired a young homeschooled girl from my church to come help me. She needed money and I needed help, it was a match made in heaven! We worked hard and enjoyed the fellowship. Speaking of working hard, here are some pictures of the kids helping me remove the wallpaper border from their room. Nothing like a good spatula and eager hands to help!



Now for the harder times. I am overwhelmed. Too many unknowns for this fearful gal. I don't like not knowing things. When will we be leaving? Where will we live? Can we take our pets? Will Jake like the job? Will the kids be OK? Will the homeschooling restrictions in Washington affect us? Will we be in a safe neighborhood? Is this going to be a hard trial? Will we ever find a family oriented God fearing church like the one we have now?
Do I sound whiny and distrusting of my Heavenly Father? YES? I probably am. One particular sin that is in my nature is that of whining. I hate that I do that. I have never had such a hard time with a move before. I am, a take things as they come, kick back girl. That is until about 3 years ago, when I let the stresses that were in my marriage and life at the time, overwhelm me. I developed some very bad habits during that time,like WHINING and DISTRUST! I can only laugh as I write this, knowing that the first step to overcoming something is to be able to admit you do it. Boy do I admit it. The Holy Spirit is so good at pointing these things out. I will repent of this tonight and hopefully hand it all over and allow the soothing ointment of Peace, that surpasses all understanding, to take over. Thanks for letting me type that out. I always think cleared after a good blog.

Quiverfull.....?

OK seriously, what is with that word? I love being "Quiverfull", but not a big fan of how that sounds. Labels are hard sometimes. I have never liked labels, probably because more often than not, what I was labeled was negative. In the secular world I was labeled, "punk", "easy", "drunk", "white trash pregnant teen". And although some of those labels rightly described my behavior, they were not who I was. I was created in the image of my maker, and loved dearly by Him. I just hadn't realized it yet. However now that I am a Christian, I have new labels. "Fundamentalist, legalistic, no T.V., Quiverfull, homeschooling, stay at home mom". And once again, although all these do describe part of my behavior, they are not Who I am. I am created in the image of God,and a child of Him who loved me and gave himself up for me. First off, let me say, I am not legalistic. I believe in God's grace fully, and I love that we live under the grace of the New Testament, and not the Law of the old. However I also love God's word, and His word has a lot to say about living and faith, and what it should look like. I take that seriously. I figure if Jesus took the time to talk about how we should live, then we should listen to His wisdom.
So some of you may ask "what in the world does 'Quiverull' mean?" Well my answer to that is another label I have been given......"college drop out" :)
SOOOOOOO since I did drop out of college, I will link you to a blog that is far more eloquent and well spoken than mine will ever be. She describes being Quiverfull in four separate posts and ALL are worth reading. I think if you disagree with being Quiverfull then it is still good to know why some people choose to live and believe this way, so that we can love one another in our differences, through understanding. Click here

I highly suggest reading it. Remember there are four posts (so far).

It's official we are Gypsies!

Ok we are not really Gypsies, because that would be kind of wierd, but we are officially a "wondering race of people".
We are moving.
Was that written with enough excitement???? Maybe not. let's try again
we are moving!!!
OK those exclamations were fake. I want to be excited, I really do. It seems though all I can think about is this is the TENTH move since being married to my husband. Just in case you were wondering, we have been married 8 years! (that exclamation was real). So I am going to do what I tell my children to do and be "Pollyanna" and play the "glad game"
Things to be glad about........
1) Jake got a job
2) We are not moving to the worst place in the world
3) My family is healthy and they are coming with me
4) I will be 5 hours away from a friend of mine and I am excited to see her
5) I enjoy seeing new places and I love adventures (I am certain this will be one)
6) My God goes with me everywhere! So moving doesn't really matter in the long run
7) My mom and sister are excited because they think Washington is way more cool than Arkansas


There we go. I feel a little better now. Now is there a way to somehow have my faithful bloggers help me with a move? OH yes, please pray that the house sells. We sort of need it to sell quick, and I know our Heavenly Father loves you guys so get praying!:)

struggling.

I was hesitant to write something so very personal on here, but what is the purpose of a blog if you can't share your passions, your peeves AND your burdens? As some of you may know, my husband had a Vasectomy Reversal last September. It is a whole huge marvelous story on how we got to that point but I will save that for another time. One week after his surgery I went in for "emergency" (not quite) surgery to have my right ovary removed due to a very large cyst they deemed to be the kind that does not shrink back down. Maybe I should have gotten a second opinion, maybe I should have done lots of things, but either way, last October I had my right ovary taken out. Yet I was STILL convinced I would get pregnant right away. The very first month we tried to conceive I thought for sure It would happen. It did not. And every month at the time of my cycle I am filled with disappointment. But today I have a different feeling. I am upset! I am upset with my self most of all. Why am I so impatient (as my dear friend Candice tells me everyday)? Why do I still spend 10 dollars almost every month on STUPID pregnancy tests??????? Why? Why cant I just let this go. So maybe God is waiting, so maybe we will never be able to have another one, so maybe I should just be happy with the two I have (which by the way, NEVER say that to me, I am a bit touchy when people say that). The thing is, every month I think "this could be the month" and every time I get a negative test or my cycle, I think "I am so stupid for getting my hopes up. I am NOT going to do that next month". I have literally said that EVERY month now for a year. I tell myself not to get upset the next time. Not to get my hopes up. But, I am hopeless, and I do get them up every month. I just don't understand sometimes. I know and truly believe God is good, and loving, and awesome, and His ways are not my ways, and He is trustworthy. Yet still it is hard to accept His ways over mine. I am sorry for how "emotional" of a rant that was, but I just got a negative pregnancy test 25 minutes ago, so I am a litttttttllllleeee sensitive :)
Will you pray with me?
"Lord, please help me be patient. Guide me in handing over my worries and hopes and laying them at your feet. Help me not to pick them back up again, but leave them with you. For you are trustworthy. Help me also to not envy those with the big family I so desire, and to guide my heart to not grow angry with those who can't wait to be done having children, while I yearn until heartbreak, for more. Make me more like you Father. Amen"

pictures are worth more than words

My cuties playing in the driveway while I spray paint a chair(if it looks a little dark, yes it is, and if it looks like my daughter is in her pajamas, yes she is :). I love working alongside my kids playing. OH and there is my cheap plastic chair that I am spray painting to match my front door. I love what 3 dollar bottle of spray paint can do, don't you?

garage sale find

I LOVE GARAGE SALES!!!! OK now that I have that out of my system I just have to add that I am also really lucky when it comes to garage sales (although I use the word luck loosely since I do not really believe in luck. I believe all my finds are a blessing from God himself). Although I love garage sales I rarely get to go. My kids loath going with me and my husband is hardly ever home on Saturdays to watch them. However, when I do get to go, I almost always find what I am looking for. For instance I realized this month the importance of finding another individual school desk. I wanted to pay no more than fifteen dollars. So on my way to the Farmers market I stopped by two garage sales. The first one had nothing I wanted, and the second had a violin that was the next size up for my daughter. My girl is in a quarter size and by this time next year she will be in a half. Wellllll the violin which is $150 new, was priced at the sale for 50 dollars, and I ended up walking away with it for $30, WAHOO!!! Then on my way home from the farmers market I stopped at two garage sales, the first one had nothing and the second, I kid you not, had an old solid oak antique individual school desk for $15!!!! I almost shouted for joy. God is so good. here is a pic of the desk



It's not that pretty to look at now, but when I am finished with it, it will be!

people are so unhealthy!!!!

OK you know when your kids just say the funniest things ever and you just want to roll on the floor laughing? That happened to me the other day in Walmart (but I was able to control myself from rolling on their aisles, dirtyyyy). So my family and I are pretty health conscious. Maybe in California surrounded by vegans and 100% raw food eaters we would not be considered so, but here in the south, we are pretty healthy eaters. We eat lots of whole foods, organic, some raw, and a lot of homemade. I say all that to give you the backdrop to what Ireland said. We were just finishing checking out and Ireland whispers to me, "mom, people are so unhealthy!" I looked to her and asked her why she said that. She answered "mom, just look in their baskets! This one lady had a jar of peanut butter in it and I couldn't believe what it said!". At this point I start to smile because I just think its adorable when children observe things, so of course I asked her what she saw. She practically shouts her whisper while saying "I can't believe that peanut butter company would brag about how unhealthy their peanut butter is. It said right on the front that is was half sugar! Half of the jar was nothing but sugar! I can't believe people would buy such a thing." At first I didn't understand and then it hit me, she had seen one of those jar's of peanut butter that is labeled "1/2 the sugar". However she read it, "1/2 sugar". I had to work so hard to contain my laughter so that I would not embarrass her. Sooooooooo funny. I love having kids.

my "hole" in the wall

OK this is primarily for my very best friend Candice, whom I have been promising forever to show a picture of what we did to our wall. We had a nice big solid wall between our living room and our dining room, and in a house that is 1300 sqft, that sort of needs to be opened up a bit. So hubby and I took a hammer to it. Soooooo several days, one very fun realization that it is a LOAD BEARING wall, and 10 trips to ACE hardware later, and this is the result.

how we homeschool

I title this "how we homeschool" while laughing. I was teaching the kids the other day and it was raining and I was needing a break, so I told the kids to go outside when it lets up, and play for "recess". So they went outside and stood on chairs so that they could "shake" all the rain off the tree onto themselves. After watching them do this for 20 or so minutes, I began to wonder about how my neighbors think I homescool. I couldn't help but laugh.







And after all that time making such a nice school room for them, THIS is how they want to do their school work

A new thing with scissors

So I figured that Jacob had already discovered all the fun uses of scissors. After cutting his shirt into shreds with them (and receiving a spanking or two)and after cutting mommies important papers with them (and receiving a spanking or two) AND after trying to cut my wood dining room table (and receiving a spanking or two), I would have thought he had run dry on ideas for his scissors (no that his bottom could take any more of his clever ideas) . OH how wrong I was.....
Jacob managed to give his, not even one inch long hair, a trim





Fortunately for Jacob, mommy thought this was just too funny to spank over, so he just got his picture taken.