Do think its possible to be born again? Do you think its possible to Feel born again over and over and over? I believe we are born again in Christ. However today I FEEL born again (again). I love that the Lord answered me in my distress. That He heard my cry and turned his ear to me. It's so simple. One of my favorite chapters in the Bible is Psalm 116. In it, it states, "I love the Lord for he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me I will call on him as long as I live." That is exactly what he does over and over for me. Here are some lyrics to a song I just CANNOT sing enough. When It comes on I just close my eyes and lift my face to heaven. Put's into words how I am feeling now.
Today I found myself,
After searching all these years,
And the man that I saw,
He wasn't at all who I'd thought He'd be,
I was lost when You found me here,
And I was broken beyond repair,
Then You came along and sang Your song over me
Chorus 1
It feels like I'm born again
It feels like I'm living
For the very first time
For the very first time,
In my life
Verse 2
Make a promise to me now,
Reassure my heart somehow,
That the love that I feel,
is so much more real than anything
I've a feeling in my soul,
And I pray that I'm not wrong,
That the life I have now,
It is only the beginning
Chorus 2
It feels like I'm born again
It feels like I'm living
For the very first time
For the very first time
It feels like I'm breathing
It feels like I'm moving
For the very first time
For the very first time
Bridge
I wasn't looking for something that was more,
Than what I had yesterday,
Then You came to me,
Then You gave to me,
Life and a love that I've never known,
That I've never felt before
Final Chorus
It feels like I'm born again
It feels like I'm living
For the very first time
I'm living for the first time
It feels like I'm breathing
It feels like I'm moving
For the very first time
I'm living for the first time,
In my life
Can you feel that? That song is amazing. God is so good to me. He truly is abounding in patience. I cannot believe how easy it is sometime to forget how far he has brought us. Think back to your life before.......I can remember the sadness, the loneliness, the sin, the filth, the drugs, the cigarettes, the alcohol, depression. OHHHHH but now, it is as that song said, it feels like I'm living for the first time in my life! Nothing huge has happened to change my circumstances. God has just simply whispered to my heart "My beloved, remember where you have been, think now on where we are together, and this is just the beginning. We only have forward to go from here." I can feel His sweet breath on my cheek as He reveals His truth to me. My depression is simply my heart always wanting to be in charge, and being sooo impatient that I mistake waiting, for abandonment. I am not abandoned by God, I am waiting on his perfect timing. I am not abandoned by friends, I am waiting. Thank you Lord, for revelation.
Born Again.
what can I say...
What can I say about why haven't I updated the blog? lack of inspiration? lack of time? Too busy feeding the hungry and adopting the orphans? Nope. None of these. Sadly its that ugly word, nobody likes to say or admit. I'm depressed. There I said it. Whewwww I feel much better. OK not really, but I thought it might make you feel better if I wrote that. ha ha. What exactly is wrong with me? I'm not sure. I think it could be a mix of things. Hormones....possibly. But I think more than anything, its loneliness. Yes, I'm the girl with a thousand friends and nobody she really feels like she can talk to. Its depressing even to write that. I know there are people with serious problems and worries and I know I have no reason for feeling like this, but I can't seem to shake it none the less. There are several contributing factors that God has raised to my attention that are not helping the situation. One is Jake and I have "friends" but lack of real fellowship with others. He has a job, but is not truly happy at all with it. I have a home but long to fill it with noise and laughter of people and ministry, yet every door to make that happen keeps closing. I long to have another child and to bring many more children into our family, yet I haven't been able to conceive. I long to adopt but things keep getting in the way, doors keep shutting, and money is too tight to adopt overseas. My husband and I are growing in the Lord (him more than I), but we cant seem to find a ministry. I know this looks like a long list of complaints, but in reality its just things that I know we are personally feeling and dealing with. Its hard to be in a state without close family and friends. We have friends, but I guess we are looking for something more. You know the kind where you can call them up anytime and say "hey, whatcha doin?" and they answer "nothing, wanna come over and visit?". The friends that just stop by for a cup of coffee or an evening walk. The friends that just like being with you, and praying for you. Friends that wont judge you because you don't watch t.v. or because you want more than a couple kids. Jake has longed also for friends. Please pray, that we would have answers from God in some questions we are asking Him. Please also pray that this heaviness of depression and loneliness lifts soon. Thanks sooooooooooooo much! love you all.
