A definition of Contentious: 1) Tending towards argument or strife; quarrelsome. 2) Causing, involving, or characterized by argument or controversy.
Hmmmmm well I am certain the question of the day is.....how am I working out the details of NOT being a contentious wife? Well, I am trying. That is for sure. Some days are better than others. Some days I remember that the Lord wishes me to count my blessings, to remember to be respectful to my husband, to show him honor rather than constant annoyance with his "failures". Other days, he's insensitive and rude, and really, I just go off. Then we both repent, hug one another, pray and start over again. Really, that's about as deep as it gets. But that's life. It is not romantic in the sense that Hollywood often portrays romance, or even the way our Christian romance novels portray it. It's ugly. It's messy. But when God steps in and redeems it, it's the most beautiful thing in the world. Anything that God redeems, is made beautiful. That's how I view my marriage. It can get sticky. It has been ugly, mean, and downright sinful. Yet as I sit back and marvel at the Lords handiwork over these last few years, and most importantly in these last 6 months or so, I see my marriage as a beautiful thing being woven together by a master artist. He does this for a living....really. :-)
So, down to the details. Some things I have been trying to do, based on the sweet motivation from the Holy Spirit, have been:
~Trying to remember it's not all about me. That means, that when I am wishing after a long night with the baby that my husband would remember to make me a cup of coffee when he gets up to make his, I instead try and think of something I can do for him. Is he hungry? Does he want a good morning hug, rather than a glare for not making me said coffee?
~Remembering to look at his attributes, not his failures. Has he done something lately that was good, thoughtful, or self sacrificing? Tell HIM!
~When he shares a wild dream of living in Alaska, or buying a third car because he "feels" we need a truck, remembering to nod and smile. For the love of everything good DO NOT share the thoughts in your mind (ie. "Are you nuts!" , "have you seen our budget sweet heart? Does it have a large gaping hole that is screaming 'fill me with a new car payment'?" "Sure honey, you go live up in the wilderness where it's freezing and play inside with the kids all day while packing heat to defend against bears on your way to the store".)
~Thinking about the fact that while he may come off as cold or indifferent, really he is just thinking through things in his mind and will share them when he has thought it all through.
~HE'S REALLY NOT A BAD GUY
~Thinking about things like : does he like this shirt on me? Does he enjoy the smell of this perfume? Does he like this meal, or is it just me and the kids?
These are just a few of many examples. But really, breaking the cycle of being a contentious wife, is really just the process of being open to what God sees when it comes to how you really think and act towards your husband. Then remembering to put into practice a life of repentance when you loose your way, forgiveness when he looses his, and filling in everything in between with love.
1 Peter 4:8 " Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins"
