There are many reasons I cry these days. One reason, and probably the most prominent is my hormones. I have cysts on my poor little ovary. It is causing some hormonal imbalances. Not too bad, but there is a lot of crying over silly stuff. Movies (especially No Greater Love!). Bible passages. Text messages. Stress. Songs on the radio. Wanting to conceive.
Another reason I cry is feelings of inadequacy. I so want to serve God. I want to truly train my kids in the way they should go. I want to be a great cook of healthy yummy foods. I want to be a good housekeeper. I want to be the best homeschooling mom and teach my kids allllll kinds of cool things. I want my daughter to continue with violin lessons, because she loves it so much (and she is soooo good). I want to be a good friend. I want to be a great wife. I want to catch up on the challenge of reading the bible in 90 days. The thing is though, I just cannot do it all. There just isn't enough time. I'm not strong enough either. I need help. I need God. Why do I forget this so often?? Praise the Lord He speaks to me, and cuts through the junk in my mind. Luckily I serve a King who does not expect me to do it all. Just Love and serve. To lean on him.
The last reason I cry......when I hear this song (lyrics are typed below)
Savior, please take my hand
I work so hard, I live so fast
This life begins, and then it ends
And I do the best that I can, but I don't know how long I'll last
I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me
Savior, please help me stand
I fall so hard, I fade so fast
Will You begin right where I end
And be the God of all I am because You're all I have
Hallelujah
Everything You are to me
Is everything I'll ever need
And I am learning to believe
That I don't have to prove a thing
'Cause You're the one who's saving me
Reasons I cry.
Posted by
Valerie
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Labels: Infertility , The Walk
3 comments:
I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time! You're right- we can't do it all. We can't even do the things we're supposed to do, but through Christ we can. We just finished up "Becoming a Woman of Simplicity" by Cynthia Heald and I recommend it to you. It deals with some of the things you're struggling with right now. Btw, thanks for your input on my young earth post. One of these days I'll spend the day finding more ammo, but that can really be a time sink, ya know? I've been very tired lately and have had to cut way down on my blogging. I miss it, but have been getting to bed by 9 or 10 instead of 12 or 1! Take care and don't be so hard on yourself!
Celee, your such a sweetie! hey that almost rhymed :)
You are so right in that we cannot do it all. I am realizing that. because I AM TRYING. ha ha
But alas, God shows me, "just do what I ask, not what everyone asks". He is good. I will totally look into that book. It sounds great. Although ALL other book reading is ceasing to exist during the 90 day challenge.
And I totally agree about the time sink of debate. I think my kids didn't get homemade meals those two days I was debating on there. Then I was just like, OK family needs nourishment Valerie no more debate for a while.
Valerie,
I agree with Celee, that we must realize that we cannot do it all ourselves, we must rely on Christ. I, too, have found myself struggling that I was not able to keep up with the 90 day challenge. The real question that we need to be asking ourselves is, "are we spending time in the Word of God and are we growing in Christ-likeness, not did we keep up with the 90 day challenge." So many times, I beat myself up over things that I was not able to keep or complete. Look to Christ and trust in His perfect will for you life.
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