I read the post, which I am about to share with you, tonight. I read it as I sat thinking about my little daughter struggling all day with a high fever. High fevers may happen a lot in some of your houses, but in our house, we haven't had this high a fever in well over a year or so. I forget sometimes how quickly things change. How we can go from well to sick in a flash. The car accident 14 months ago taught us that. We were happily driving around getting to know the town we had just moved to 6 days prior, and were struck in the blink of an eye. My daughters daily headaches, and my neck pain are a constant reminder of how things change. YET, when do stop and realize that TODAY is the day to be thankful for every breath we take? For every moment spent with our precious children? Today is the day of our salvation! Not our "spiritual birthday" five years ago......TODAY. Today is the day to be thankful for our children, not tomorrow, when they may be in a better mood, or less needy.....TODAY. This is a reminder I need soooo often. I am realizing more and more the need of thankfulness and gratefulness in the Body of Believers. "Let it start with me Lord. Amen."
Please read this beautiful blog post on the subject. Here is a snippet...
"How to Mend All Your Broken Places.
A silly little turn of my foot in a game of charades gone ridiculously wrong.
And the bones in my ankle disengage, swell my foot like a bluing balloon, and I writhe quiet and smile thinly.
Because really, aren’t I one of those women who comes unglued and broken only a thousand times a day?
The heart of this world’s fractured and we all bear the fault lines.
I ice my throbbing ankle hill with a ziplock bag of melting snow.
Hobble around with the laundry for days.
I’m laying on the couch with my foot propped high over my head, when a friend emails, “Pray for me? I can manage the nausea and exhaustion. It’s the mouth sores that are the hardest.”
She’s the mother of five young children.
“I’m just not sure how I’ll be able to do my job to take care of my babies while on these drugs every day.”
She’s on an aggressive, determined round of three chemo drugs."
To read more click here and be changed.
Being Thankful.
The Child Training Bible.
Coming soon to a home near you.....
UPDATE: My sweet friend Mindy who came up with this idea has created a blog JUST FOR the Child Training Bible! What's great is that anyone can make one! Check it out here!
The idea for this Child Training Bible cam from my dear friend Mindy. There are several woman in my group of friends who desired to train our children with scripture, not with every passing wind of doctrine or the newest parenting book.
And although the book "Don't Make ME Count to Three!" by Ginger Plowman, played a role in the inspiration of this, this bible is a guide to scripture and nothing else. I can't wait to post more on this soon. Until then, it's late and I must go to bed :)
I Can't Complain.
I love when you ask someone how they are doing and they say "I can't complain...". Then they go on and say how much the Lord has blessed them recently. I can't help but think to myself though...."well I can". Complain, that is. I mean we always CAN complain, we just choose NOT TO. And really that is why I believe the scriptures encourage us to rejoice always, because God knows, WE CAN COMPLAIN. Even when we have no real good reason. I had been feeling very "complainy" (is that a word?) dealing with my bitterness and selfishness. But since God has been so faithful in helping me grow in maturity and humility recently I have realized that complaining is a symptom of old habits. Habits I am ever so eager to be rid of.
I feel like women sometimes need an "I can't complain...." holiday. Like when anyone asks you how you are, answer with "I can't complain....really. My husband is not a perfect but man he tries. My kids are healthy and are growing their cute little sinful selves into maturity and wisdom more and more everyday. I have good friends and a great church. God has saved me from my sinful self and right now I am going to go eat a delicious meal and maybe later I will make myself a cup of coffee, just because I can"
W O W. What would our faces look like if a woman answered that way? When asked "How are you?".
Could you imagine if we all just listed off all the things we have NOT to complain about? It would be contagious! Sadly, complaining is also contagious. One woman starts and next thing you know we are all trading woes.
Don't get me wrong, I believe there is totally a time and place for that! I mean we all need a good woman to hear our heartaches and failures from time to time.
But for some of us that's ALL the time. As Christians, this should not be.
To conclude, I am doing well, and although I would like sometimes to complain about my PCOS, and infertility, and blah blah blah. I won't. I won't because.....
I serve a God who is gracious, forgiving, amazing, and patient.
I have a good man for a husband who loves God.
I have two of the best kids in the world.
I am not bedridden and have fairly good health.
I have access to great healthy food and can actually afford to buy it.
I am living in a very cute apartment and I am even about to buy a house.
I have a car to transport me to the store, to church, and to my friends.
I am blessed to be able to stay home and homeschool my children. They are more fun than I ever imagined!!
Lord, help us all complain less, and serve more!
The CURE!!
I have had the most astounding revelation this week. As you know from the previous post I have been facing an emotional battle for a while now. The battle had to to do with Selfishness and bitterness. I knew in my heart and from the Word, and from the conviction of my soul, that I needed to stop feeling that way. But HOW to stop a feeling was beyond me. I begged and pleaded with God to "give me a new heart of flesh and take away from me my heart of stone". Yet the very next day I would wake up and feel the heaviness of it in my heart. Why would it not go away? Surely if a servant asks of the Lord something so honorable He would oblige, would He not? The answer is NO. He would not. Not when He had already laid out the cure.
I will spare the ridiculously embarrassing details for another day and another blog post, but basically, while doing something so completely normal, God spoke to my heart in that gentle way that only He can do. It was a moving of my spirit that simply said for me to do something that was opposite of what I was going to do. It wasn't until I heard the urgings to basically step back and be more self-less rather than selfish in the particular situation, that I realized he was giving me a choice. A choice to choose me, or choose His way. The way of the servant. AWWWWWWW it HIT ME! The cure is Humility! The cure is self sacrifice!
Duh
Duh
Duh
How could I think that I was living for Him, while daily, living for myself? It's really amazing how simple and easy the yoke is to bear. Humility and selflessness are choices. Choices that we make that walk out the words of Jesus..... "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."
It has been an awesome time of refreshing for me. After every choice that I make to choose the role of servant rather than "Queen Valerie" I feel infinitely better. Set free is actually a more appropriate description.
Our God is so awesome, amazing, and yet.....so simple. I love that about Him. Don't you?
So I find that scriptures like "If anyone serves Me, he must follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also; if anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him. "
encourages me greatly to stay on the path of humility and dying to ones self. Lord Help this spoiled girl to become a good and faithful servant! :)
My conclusion is this, WHATEVER THE PROBLEM IS, THE CURE IS HUMILITY.
Down to business.
(photo credit)
So let's get down to it. Selfishness. We all deal with it in one form or another. Some of us let it control our lives, while others of us, put up a brave fight and consistently call upon God to help us overcome it's nagging pull.
I was thinking about my hearts attitude recently and was so burdened down with how "far I have fallen". I mean, do you ever just look back on your life of walking with the Lord and ask yourself "Man I used to live so much more in His peace! Why was I able to deal with things better before?". I do. I know that when I first gave my allegiance to Christ, and accepted His forgiveness, I was overcome with Joy in Him. Then as the time went by and hard times came, I leaned on Him and asked him to comfort me and change me. I had peace. I had patience. I had a sense of calm. Even when I was crying out in pain at some of my circumstances, I still left it in His hands. I still trusted He was in control, and I was too reliant upon Him to squander all my time thinking and dwelling upon all that is wrong. Don't get me wrong, I worried about my life and my marriage, and lots of things. I cried, and made hard decisions, and even fell apart from time to time. But I remember also being thoughtful of others in the midst of it, I remember thinking "God will turn this all for His good". I share all that with you to share this......I no longer act that way. I have sensed in myself, and God has revealed through pondering over these last few years, that I have slowly allowed selfishness into my life. So much so that it has affected every area. Where I once had peace, I now feel discouraged. Where I once forgave, I now linger on the wrongs that are done to me. Where I once let love cover a multitude of sins, I now stand self-righteous. Where I once had patience, I now have temper.
Why oh why do I share this with you all????? Well the answer to that may shock you. That answer is, this revelation is actually GOOD NEWS.
What? This doesn't sound like good news??
Well follow my train of thought for a moment and let me 'splain.
For one, I honestly believe that selfishness is hard for God to work with, but what is more impossible is Pride. Pride says "I do not need to change". My understanding of my selfishness, is good. It means that although I am desperately selfish and in need of a Savior, and some serious pruning, I am not hopeless. For I WANT to be helped. I want to change my ways. I want to love as I once loved. No, I want to love MORE than that. I want to love AS Christ loves. I think I am on the right track. It does not feel good to have the Holy Spirit reveal to you your very well hidden sin. So well hidden I almost didn't even see it. But it hit me in the face like a brick one night. I was alone in my car and had just been shown such kindness by someone. As I drove I literally burst into tears and wept. All I was able to say over and over was "I am so selfish!". I wanted to stop but my mouth had a mind all it's own that night. I began confessing it over and over to my Lord and asking His forgiveness. A forgiveness by the way that so beautifully given to me, before my very creation. I felt His love and forgiveness wash over me, and YET I also had a sense of severe pruning coming up. It has not been easy since. I wish sometimes that Sanctification just came to me, and that my sins and habits would just fall away like the scales on Saul's eyes. But it does not. God has shown me my sin, offered His forgiveness, and shown me the way to stop. But I must make the choice. The choices that offered to me daily of whether or not to choose ME, or to choose God and then others.
I mentioned in my Pre-lude that I believe Selfishness to be tied to Bitterness. I truly can see that when a heart is selfish, it will inevitably become bitter. A selfish heart says "Me first", "why me?", and "I deserve_____ (fill in the blank)". When we are not first, it hurts. When things happen and we ask "why me?", often no answer comes. And when we believe we deserve something, even a simple something, or a good something, and we are denied that, we become angry. All of those feelings of hurt and anger compound over time and root themselves in your heart as bitterness. But a Christian cannot live this way and have any peace. Selfishness is contrary to the Word of God and his nature. Some things I have learned and say to myself as of late are...
* We do not deserve anything
* We have not earned anything
* God does not owe us answers no matter how much we plead for them
* God is not my "religion". He is my Lord, my King.
* Fear God and do not let sin take hold in your heart.
* Jesus' yoke is easy and burden is light.
* Tomorrow is a new day to start over.
Remember, selfishness is not always easy to spot. We may help people out, serve in our homes, and be kind (most of the time) and still struggle with selfishness.
I ask you that you pray for me and with me on this as the Lord continues to prune away dead branches and makes me new :)
"Lord, search my heart,and the hearts of all who read this. Reveal to us truths in our lives, even when they are painful. Give us the ability to change these things that run contrary to your nature, and grant us humility to keep us going. Thank you Lord that you finish the good work you start in us. You bring all things into completion. Lord shut my mouth when I want to speak in my selfishness. Let my words and actions be as sweet as honey. Give me wisdom to seek change in areas your are yet even to reveal. Bless our home, even though you have already blessed us beyond what we could ever deserve. Thank you for your goodness, your forgiveness, and for even caring at all about the state of my heart. You have it Lord, it is yours."
Coming super super super soon.
OK so I know it's kind of lame to tell you about a blog post that is yet to be written, but I am very anxious to write the next post. I am just super struggling to find time these days. But I wanted to let you all know what has been sooooo on my hear lately. Are you ready? S E L F I S H N E S S Oh yeah, it's written all over my heart. How about yours? I wrote twice now since the start of this blog about the root of bitterness that can take hold of us. But what I cannot wait to expand on is how totally intertwined Selfishness is with bitterness. And is in most cases the cause of bitterness. Most of you who have been reading my blog long enough know that God has really been working on my heart these past 13 or so months. It's been hard. But God's revelations are always for our good :) Amen.
Can't wait to talk it all up soon. Till then....Watch your selfishness!
Finally a day I can update.
I finally feel that I have a day with a second to update. We have been busy doing things, busy visiting people, busy driving, and BUSY RELAXING :P
Anyhow, I thought I would grab the trusty, albeit neglected, laptop and update with some photos from our trip to Tucson. Hope you all are have a great week :)
Here are the kiddo's with their PAPA hiking in Tucson...
and here they are also hiking in Tuscon with thier Uncle Jeremiah...
Here they are decorating cookies :)
And last but not least here is Jakey with his favorite person in the world...Grandma
