where have I been?

So where have I been? Traveling exotic Islands? Visiting family in another state? Nah, just here in my home. Where I love to be. But emotionally....I have not been able to blog. I have been talking things over with God. As I announced a couple weeks ago, I have been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. Its nothing life threatening, or even debilitating. But none the less, it was not a fun diagnosis. There is no cure, and it is progressive. Meaning I am only at the beginning of this and things will probably get worse. I sort of didn't understand the diagnosis at first so I did not really get worried about it. Then the next day I talked to some women who had it and looked it up on the Internet and realized "CRAP! this is not good". One woman I know has a very severe case, and it does worry me I may get some of the severe symptoms of it. That led me to cry for three days straight and once again, pour it all out before my heavenly Father. He is so good to always hear me. I asked questions, told Him how I felt, asked him to calm my spirit, told him I was confused......and on and on it went, for days. Finally, thanks to kind words from my husband, my sister in law, and several friends, I accepted the fact that waiting was all I could do. Nothing is certain. This does not mean it will end in permanent infertility. With God all things are possible. But that does not mean that His will is the same as mine. So I wait. I wait for His revelation. I wait for His plan.

On the upside.....

I saw a great OBGYN in my area who specializes in infertility. She is going to help me figure out how to stay on top of the PCOS. I HATE medications, the majority of the time, but I am very optimistic about the one my doctor put me on. It is to help with the insulin issues that PCOS causes. PCOS tends to make all sugar you eat turn instantly into fat instead of using it as an energy source. Which would totally explain my tiredness and weight gain. WHEW!! glad I have something to blame that on..lol But it PCOS can lead to diabetes and obesity, if you are not extremely careful, which I am trying to be. I have completely cut sugar out of my diet, so I am hopeful that will help.

One good thing about the medicine is that it "can" also help some of those nasty ovarian cysts go away. I have been blessed in the fact that my cysts don't seem to be very painful. I know many women who were doubled over in pain with theirs, and so far mine have not been that way.

Another thing is that the medicine I am on typically causes side effects of nausea and diarrhea, neither of which I have been having. I am praising God for this, as I know things could be a lot worse.

So although my baby-making wishes may never happen, and my health may not be "ideal" God shows over and over, that although we are not in Heaven yet, we shall be one day. What a glorious place Heaven will be, with no unfulfilled need, no sickness, so sadness, no pain. God is good. In total contrast to this world that is dying day by day and crying out to God under the weight of sin.

Anyhow, all I can say, is that its been a rough week, but God is making it a whole lot better. Day by day I am encouraged. Day by Day, I am renewed. But I have a long way to go. That is why I have spent so much time away from blogging. I am needing more time with my family, and His word. Plus homeschooling, baking, cooking, cleaning, bible study, church, grocery shopping, sewing classes, tend to take up my time as well :)

So what have you all been up to these days??