I love when God makes allows me to stop and delight in the simple joys in my life. Like watching my kids enjoy their Christmas presents (LEGO'S), or catching snow on their tongue, or just being silly. Its been a GREAT week, but I still have those moments of being overwhelmed with catching up on ALL those things I am behind on. And to be honest, I have an impatient nature of also letting myself get aggravated with the children over things like asking me twenty questions through the bathroom door, while I am not only trying to go to the bathroom, but also, if we can be honest, blogging. Hey sorry ladies, but its the truth. Men take their crosswords and newspapers to the bathroom, I take the laptop....don't judge.
Anywho, I like these small moments caught on the camera, that remind me of the simple joys of family. Times when they are playing peacefully next to me with legos (I feel my kids' insane obsession with legos is God's reward to me for getting rid of tv.), or happily running outside to play, even in 30 degree weather, or when they happily sit at my feet for a bible reading, it all reminds me that God has a lot in store for this family. Just when i think we are dysfunctional, God shows me are normal, because HE is making us into His image. He is changing our family every hour of everyday. He never stops sharpening and smoothing out the rough edges, that come from sin and years of worldly living. Keep it up Father, I likes what I see. WE are hopeless without you. Praise you for your love.
Fun times
Merry Christmas everyone.
So this is the day after Christmas, and I have to say, with the exception of my mom's flight getting canceled, it was a beautiful, Christ filled day my hubby and kids. We didn't do anything "special", just stayed in the house all day. we did gifts exchange, then breakfast, then played dominoes together, then lunch, then afternoon naps, then dinner. Fun, and peaceful. It was great. I hope all of your christmas' were filled with the peace of Christ.
Sandwiched.
I named this post "Sandwiched" because that is precisely how I am describing our car accident yesterday. Our poor minivan (and us too!) were sandwiched in between two trucks. We were pulling up to a light behind a truck (I am thinking an f250 or something of the like), just as were had come to a stop I looked in the review mirror and saw how fast the truck behind us was headed our way. I said out loud "Oh God that guy is not going to stop", just then I (dummy!!) turned my head around and watched him slam into us. Well I did not watch for long as we were hit so hard we were driven feet ahead and into the truck in front of us. When it all stopped the kids were screaming so loud I was certain they must have been hurt. But after a few seconds of consoling I realized they were probably more scared than anything. Within seconds my husband and I joined hands and trembled through a prayer begging God to let us be alright. Just after that I realized my head felt dizzy and was throbbing in my forehead near my right eye. I looked at my hubby and said "babe, babe, I hit my head, I hit head" He was out and checking on the kids and looked at me, more scared than I have ever seen him. He was consoling his two screaming kids, and looking at a wife who had a huge knot on her face. At that point I knew my neck hurt really bad, and I had no idea how I hit my head, or what I hit it on. The ambulance and fire and police came so fast. They ended up putting my neck in a collar and me on a gurney. I asked if my daughter could come with me (she has some attachment issues and is always scared to leave me), they said yes and loaded me and her into the ambulance. It was really scary but as we rode to the hospital I knew I would be OK. I had figured out that my bump on my head hurt like heck, but it was minor, and my neck hurt really bad, but I was sure it was just whiplash and nothing broken. They took x-rays and said I was OK. My husband arrived at the hospital and looked so heartsick it made me cry. He just wanted to help all of us and didn't know how. He just kept holding the kids and me and telling us he loved us. It was scary and precious at the same time. God was so with us. The accident could have caused us much more serious injuries. As for me I am getting further checked out tomorrow for whiplash and my bump on my face (which feels like to me might have busted or injured my sinus cavity. My neck hurts, but I know my body will heal. I also have a minor bruise where the seat belt grabbed me at the chest. As for my children, my daughter has a hurt head where something (we can't figure out what) struck her in the back of the head. She has a big bump where it struck her and it is quite bruised. She also has a strained rib or something. her ribs hurt when she moves too much (she also is being checked out tomorrow), but she has been OK enough to move around and do things, so I don't believe it's serious, but who knows. My son seems completely fine. He complains of no pain at all. God was with us for sure. My husband seems to have injured knees and probably has whiplash also. We are not a fun bunch to be around right now because all we say all day is "ouchie ouchie, that hurt" or "owwwwww! I forgot that bump was there".
What I have to say about it all, is this, God is good ALL the time. He protected us for sure. It should have been much worse. Also, our spirits are high. We are filled with His peace and are very thankful that we are OK. Good thing God taught me about bitterness BEFORE this all happened, huh? His timing is perfect. Had I still been bitter about all the other stuff I would have just added this to my list. That would have been ugly. Yesterday we also found it important to pray and ask God to bless the man who hit us. We knew we had to forgive him and not only that but speak blessings over him (in accordance with scripture). It was so good to do, and such an awesome lesson for the kids. All in all, we are good. I am in pain, and I still see the truck hitting us every time I close my eyes, but I know those things will fade. The miracle of feeling God's closeness during this time will not. Praise be to Him from whom all blessings flow.
The root of bitterness.
Today I disclose my well kept secret....... I harbor bitterness. Well, I did, until I finally confessed it the other day (after MONTHS of the Lord speaking to my hard heart, mind you). Interesting thing is, it was a light bulb moment when I finally saw it. I don't get too many of those. God usually takes me step by step when revealing something to me. And maybe He had been doing that but I was not listening. Either way, about a week or so ago God said enough is enough and crashed my world. Nothing would go right. My marriage was not going right, actually it was going horribly horribly wrong. My mothering had turned into something reminiscent of a screen clip of "mommy dearest". Even mentoring and encouraging other women(which is my spiritual gift) had turned dry. I had no passion to really encourage anyone. All I heard in my mind was "why won't someone encourage me?" wahh wahh wahhh (**me crying like a selfish baby**)
Then one night a few days after we had moved I realized I really had no control over anything in my life, nor did I even enjoy life. I didn't want to wake up the next day and live, what seemed to me, my dreary pointless life. Now that's the bad part, here is the good part. It was like it flashed before my eyes, immediately I could see all the bitterness in me like a disease. It was festering and affecting all areas of my life. My marriage, my mothering, my friendships, my joy and my relationship with my sweet heavenly Father. All this time I thought it was "them" and God was showing me it was ......(gasp)....ME. "What happened??" I asked myself, and God impressed upon me "you let bitterness take over. It took root first in a small area of your heart when you became unforgiving with your husband, then the root grew bigger and bigger as you allowed yourself to become jealous over the lives of other people, then the root of bitterness consumed you and became a firmly established tree when you said in your heart that 'truly it was God who had not spared you this pain, and it was God who knew how hard this would all be and yet pulled away, it was God who gave you a desire for a child yet withheld that very dream from you'"
I had done what I would have sworn I would never do, I had blamed God deep deep down, and had not even admitted it to myself. That is until He would not allow me to live in sin and denial any longer. It was killing me, inside and out. I had become the person I never wanted to be......bitter and without joy. Praise the Lord he never leaves us where we are. He simply says (to quote Beth Moore) "get out of that pit!" Anyhow, after about a day of pure confession before the Lord and some pretty good repentant apologies to my husband and children, I am happy to say I am feeling much much better. Although I do still have to watch out for bitterness. You see it became a deeply entrenched habit. Self pity and prideful accusations of "I don't deserve this" come quick to the brain, and they must be countered with God's word, which is why (duh) we must be in it! Praise the Lord that during that time I had not allowed myself to stop reading His word. I felt little joy in reading it at the time, but God's word never returns void and He is using it faithfully to restore me to the faith I once had.....my first love.
Lord, praise your holy name for caring for humans at all, least of all me and my pathetic attempts at life. You care for me that much that you will not let me get away with sin. It really is true that you wish for us to "have life to the full". You are so very good. Keep refining me Lord.
Valerie
Moved!
Settled at last.
To be finally settled and not totally living in transition feels amazing. To be sure, I have not totally unpacked yet, we still have plenty of boxes and home school shelves waiting for me, and yes we are still eating out more than eating in, until we rebuild our pantry and fridge with food. But still, there is something to be said for having mirrors and paintings on the wall and clothes hung up in the closets. It is starting to feel like home. Home. Strange for me even to say. I had grown so fond of my “home” in Arkansas, I would have never dreamed calling a rental is some random city in Oklahoma “home”. But I guess it is true what they say, home is where your heart is. Or where Husband and children are. :)
We just got Internet the other day so I am spending a lot of time catching up on emails and facebook bills. I can’t wait to have a free moment soon tonight to catch up on blog world. You all inspire me to be better, with how I have been acting lately, I could use it!
Pictures to come! This time I wont promise, but I will say that I have a distinct feeling I will be getting a camera for Christmas :)
I will be back soon with lots of posts on all God is teaching me lately. (there have been some hard personal discoveries that God is weeding out of me. When it is a little less painful I will write all about it.)
Pictures here, pictures everywhere.
Here are some pictures from the road trip. It was long and hard, but we had a lot of fun. I always do on roadtrips. The glory of God shines through His creation, and His creation can truly be seen driving across this great country. Anyhow, enjoy! Right like that's really all you wanted for Christmas, was pictures from my roadtrip, ha ha ha. 
home for now.
I am home from my trip and the first thing I have to do is say......I lied. OK well actually I didn't lie, I mis-spoke. You see I thought I would have TONS of pictures for you when I got back, but actually I have none, since my husband wanted to keep the camera at home, and my dad only let me take pictures in the car. SOOOOOOOO when my dad lets me borrow his camera so I can download the pictures, then I will have pictures for you. Until then please forgive me for saying "I will post TONS of pictures as soon as I get back!". My bad.
So I am home from my trip, but not for long since we are moving on Monday. Never mind that this is the third time we have said we are moving. It is kind of frustrating to think you are going to move mid-November, box up your stuff, have your hubby quit his current job, find a rental, sign a lease agreement in a new state, turn on utilities and internet, ONLY to find out you cant actually move till late November, only to find out you can't move till December, only to find out that you don't know when they will pay you to move so you finally make the decision to pay the hundreds of dollars to move yourselves just to be over the craziness! Oh look there I go venting and complaining again.......but hey, that's what the blog is for right? No? OK well maybe not, but I am incapable of typing anything else. I am surrounded by boxes, so moving seems to stay heavy on my mind.
Now I am off to read all your wonderful, uplifting, holiday cheer spreading, hilarious blogs! Just disregard mine and come back in a week, I am sure I will be a more gracious blog host :)
