Dying to self. I hate that term, and yet I LOVE that term. There is so much wisdom and heartache and blessings all tied together in that habitual process that Christ asks of us.
I was having some problems with the hubby the other day. Nothing huge, but big enough to cause some pretty good heartache and worry. I was venting to the one and only friend who has been through our issues long enough to know how to listen and give advice. The thing I love about this friend is that she has known my husband and I since before we were married. She became a Christian right around the same time I did, and ALWAYS gives Godly advice. She brings me back to the Bible. Back to the Word. Every time.
I was venting to her the woes of being married to a man with so much "baggage". (conveniently forgetting he married a woman with baggage as well ;)
First she soothed my broken heart with sweet words of encouragement and hope. Then she softly rebuked me for not forgiving and for the borderline hate that was developing in my heart. Then she said this...." Valerie being married is learning how to Die to yourself."
*silence*
*crickets*
*more silence*
"No! I don't want to die to self any more!!! I want HIM TO DIE TO HIS SELF!"
*silence*
*more crickets*
*more silence*
"Fine. Your right. But HOW?? How do I do that when everything in me screams, 'this is not fair'?"
God had to answer that question for me. You know, when we look at this topic when all things are going well, it's a little easier to think about. When, however, you feel you have given almost all you can give, it's very hard to think about dying more to yourself. (although truly I had not given as much as I could have)
So that evening I prayed. I confessed my unforgiveness, as I have time and time again. I asked God to teach me how to love when it's so hard. To teach me to be more like HIM. I also confessed to God that I cannot force my heart to feel love and trust so I asked for HIM to change my heart for me as He has done on more than one occasion. I prayed something else too when I realized that at the moment there were several people that I was talking to about Christ. Who were drawn to Him (in their words not mine) by the changes in Jake and I, and our family. Our Christ like behavior and that we were different from others they knew(again her words not mine). At the moment I knew that if they could see inside our home they would not see Christ like behavior. They would not be drawn to Him by the anger in our hearts. I knew then I had to pray and ask the Lord to help me fast because there was so much more at stake. My children were noticing our friction, my mom had caught on to some of it, and I did NOT want to badly represent My precious Savior. My King. How could I be so selfish to just think of myself? I continued to pray that God would help my husband and I and that we would represent Him well and walk worthy of the calling in which we have been called.
God answered that prayer. And FAST! Not 45 minutes later, my husband called (he was out of town on business). We hadn't talked, more than necessary in over three days. He sweetly confessed many things. I did as well. we reconciled, talked about things we could do to work through some of our "weeds in our Garden" (the best way I could put it :)
But then my husband asked to pray and prayed the sweetest prayer I think we could pray at the moment. I think its a profound prayer for any hurting marriage, so feel free to pray it for yourselves anytime :)
He said "Lord, forgive me for the things I do and for what I have been, and Father, hold us together when we cannot do it on our own. Amen."
What's so profound? Well, I think big and lofty prayers are great. But I think humble prayers calling out to our heavenly Father are even better! :)
So I was able to meet up later the next day, with the precious woman who is seeking the Lord. She is not a Christian, but desperately desires to know more of Him. I felt like I was able to talk to her to openly and with my whole heart because God had honored prayers and lifted the burden from my heart. She has attended church with us for two weeks. She has asked for a bible and has tons of questions. And her ex-fiance is asking questions as well and has called my husband to set a up a hiking day to talk more about the Lord. Praise be to the Lord GOD! He is so good to use even his beloved hard-hearted children.
My prayer now is that I would be taught more everyday how to Die to myself, and learn to live as Christ, love fully, harbor not anger, but grace and mercy. Let's learn how to Die to ourselves so that the focus can be on His Kingdom not ours.
Do you all feel like your at the very START of the Sanctification process sometimes?
I do. But you know what? I am right where the Lord wants me and THAT my friend feels awesome!
"Thank you Lord for the peace and joy you have given me lately through your Word and your answers to my prayers"
Dying to SELF.
Child Training Bible!
SO I posted a month back about my friend Mindy's idea for a Bible that is primarily used for child training. She thought it up, researched the scriptures, made everything needed to make it work, and then showed some of her very blessed friends how to make one as well. We are all reaping the amazing benefits of training our children with scripture! This is not a parenting book, this is not a fad, this is not a new idea. This is scripture and scripture alone. I love it!! I am reaping such a great harvest of scriptural knowledge and of PEACE in my home through training my children with the Word of God. Please check out her site. She has put so much hard work into this. Her passion if for kids and moms alike to know the Word of God and to apply it to their lives, and their parenting. May you be blessed!
The site is www.childtrainingbible.com
Who says God's not funny?
I cannot tell you how many times God has whispered something, or led me to read something, that just made me laugh hysterically. He has a sense of humur, of that I am sure.
I believe we often think of God in one form. That of.....well..... GOD. With big'ol capital letters. Yes He is awesome in power, Mighty, Holy, maker of all things, The One true God and Judge of the universe, but He also..... laughs, smiles, and weeps.
It was one of those nights, where things just weren't going my way. Nothing terrible, just trouble finding a good balance in my relationship with my husband. That frustration led me to plaguing doubts about "US". My husband picked up on my attitude and promptly called me out on it. I was frustrated with that because in all honesty, I believed him to be most of the cause. (I know, I know)
Anyhow, he was a little sharp with me, I was a little perturbed with him, and we finally laid down in bed to settle in for sleep. He grabbed his crossword puzzle, I grabbed my Bible (partially just to show him what an AWESOME Christian I was).
I flipped around the Word of God, honestly saying to myself "Maybe I will read a Psalm....uhhhh... *sigh*....I have read the Psalms soooo many times before....*again another sigh*. What new thing could God possible say in these old words of David that will speak to me tonight?"
So I decided to read the Psalm I was on, while in my heart debating telling my hubby how I really feel.....
This is what God said through Psalm 4 starting in verse 4
" 4 Tremble and do not sin;
when you are on your beds,
search your hearts and be silent.
5 Offer the sacrifices of the righteous
and trust in the LORD.
6 Many, LORD, are asking, “Who will bring us prosperity?”
Let the light of your face shine on us.
7 Fill my heart with joy
when their grain and new wine abound.
8 In peace I will lie down and sleep,
for you alone, LORD,
make me dwell in safety. "
Of course the whole Psalm is wonderful, and the Lord was gracious to tell me that He will work it all out, and that through trusting in Him I could sleep in peace....BUT....I am CERTAIN the part He was MOST wanting me to read was the the part where it said "In your bed search your heart and BE SILENT". hahahaha
Our God is awesome, but don't forget he pulls no punches in letting us know how to behave :)
I love Him.
Lord, Help me daily to hold my tongue, trust in your, and sleep in peace. Amen
Muffin Tin Meals.
I love love love Muffin Tin Meals! I found this site for Muffin tin Mom. She makes all kinds of yummy looking meals for her kids using muffin tins! Although I do not frequent her site as much as I would like, I do pop on there from time to time and I always come away totally inspired to make our life a little more fun :)
Go and see what fun things you can find to fill the little spaces in your muffin tin. You know that it sits lonely in your cupboard, just waiting to be used.
Here is a Muffin tin Meal I did today for my kiddos. It was an in-between kind of meal, where the kids were hungry but we were still pretty far from the next meal.
*the top row is all natural Pita chips.
*the second row is a section of hummus, followed by peeled and chopped carrots
*the last row is sliced apples, followed by walnuts with honey :)
So what would you put in your Muffin Tins? I would love to hear your ideas, and also would love to steal said ideas for myself ;)
I am thinking tomorrow will be sliced raw veggies, cheese, and ranch :)
Kids.
I found these pictures on my camera today and all I can say is...... sometimes we are a very silly family :P
(those are socks my Grandma got me for Christmas and my kids just think they are too hilarious)
Our new house.
OK, true, we are only in escrow, but I am sure it will all come through OK and as of April 4th we will live in this house =)
It's not anything super spectacular, but we are in love. This house means...
*stability
*adoptions
*hospitality
And so much more! We are excited to move and excited to know we will not be moving for several more years to come. I am also excited to PAINT! The whole house is a beautiful blank canvas! Everything is painted white and ready for me to add my kind of color!
We are truly blessed. Our family is doing well, we are moving forward in our plans to start adoptions, my husband has a great job, and we are going to move out of our cozy apartment and into an adorable house :) Life is good
Being Thankful.
I read the post, which I am about to share with you, tonight. I read it as I sat thinking about my little daughter struggling all day with a high fever. High fevers may happen a lot in some of your houses, but in our house, we haven't had this high a fever in well over a year or so. I forget sometimes how quickly things change. How we can go from well to sick in a flash. The car accident 14 months ago taught us that. We were happily driving around getting to know the town we had just moved to 6 days prior, and were struck in the blink of an eye. My daughters daily headaches, and my neck pain are a constant reminder of how things change. YET, when do stop and realize that TODAY is the day to be thankful for every breath we take? For every moment spent with our precious children? Today is the day of our salvation! Not our "spiritual birthday" five years ago......TODAY. Today is the day to be thankful for our children, not tomorrow, when they may be in a better mood, or less needy.....TODAY. This is a reminder I need soooo often. I am realizing more and more the need of thankfulness and gratefulness in the Body of Believers. "Let it start with me Lord. Amen."
Please read this beautiful blog post on the subject. Here is a snippet...
"How to Mend All Your Broken Places.
A silly little turn of my foot in a game of charades gone ridiculously wrong.
And the bones in my ankle disengage, swell my foot like a bluing balloon, and I writhe quiet and smile thinly.
Because really, aren’t I one of those women who comes unglued and broken only a thousand times a day?
The heart of this world’s fractured and we all bear the fault lines.
I ice my throbbing ankle hill with a ziplock bag of melting snow.
Hobble around with the laundry for days.
I’m laying on the couch with my foot propped high over my head, when a friend emails, “Pray for me? I can manage the nausea and exhaustion. It’s the mouth sores that are the hardest.”
She’s the mother of five young children.
“I’m just not sure how I’ll be able to do my job to take care of my babies while on these drugs every day.”
She’s on an aggressive, determined round of three chemo drugs."
To read more click here and be changed.
