Dilated...

This is oh so hard to fathom, but it is true.  They finally checked her yesterday, and the baby is head down, facing correctly, low in the canal, she is spotting and three centimeters dilated.  AND THEY SENT HER HOME.   :-(     <-----  that sad face times 1000.

I cannot go into too many details because of the privacy of this precious birth mother, but I can tell you that we were both just sick to our stomachs when they insisted we leave and come back in another week.  She is scared.  So am I.  They even had the nerve to pat her on the back as we were leaving and say "well you should go into labor any day now, make sure you call 911".

The story gets from bad to worse, when I finally met with the labor and delivery social worker.  It was a horrible meeting.  She called me a "non-parent" and said I shouldn't expect to hold the baby or touch the baby, for DAYS, unless the baby is in the room with the birth mother and the birth mother says I can.

seriously?

I know *Sandy will let me , but Sandy didn't want to spend a lot of time with the baby, for fear of attachments.  So they told her, that the baby would have to be with her, or in a nursery (without me).  Sandy's instincts kicked in and in a way of protecting the baby from being in the nursery for two days with neither mother, she said the baby needs to be in her room the whole time.  She has told me to be in the room with her too.  But oh man, so hard!  To bond with the baby, RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER while I watch her try not to, is just going to break our hearts.  Why are people so difficult???  This social worker could have easily said, "you know what, we have your legal paperwork, I have spoken to both of you and know both of your desires, and once we have the AD22, we will have no problem accommodating your requests".  But no.  She had to call the shots.  I am all for leaving it to the birth mom and the legal paperwork.  I will in no way to go around that.  But the birth mom says that I am the mom and says she wants to see the baby, hold the baby, and then give the baby to me and be done.  They are now forcing her to bond for two days.  I am hoping my agency will get there and straighten this all out.

Anyhow.  At this point, I am not sure if I have to worry about this hospital at all.  Sandy is 3 cm dilated, dropped, and feels yucky.  She will NOT make it to her next Thursday appointment.  So it looks like she will be delivering at home (if they can get her legs open.  They are almost stuck in a closed position.  she would need assistance), or in an ambulance (if she can call in time) or at her local hospital in the Desert.

Would it sound redundant to as for prayer again?

She is in God's hands.  Ethan is in God's hands.  I MUST remember this always.  God will win.  No one else.  Whatever his will is, pray that I would accept it.   Also, I am trying to induce lactation so that I can feed and bond with the baby, can you pray that I will be able to produce milk for my little guy?  Thank you sweet ones!