What a Mothers Day

Today, I understand, how very lucky I am. I sometimes take for granted that I am such a lucky mom. I was brought breakfast in bed by my husband and my two darling little sweeties, Jacob and Ireland. They smiled so big and were soo proud to eat with me in bed. I watched my two healthy, alert, loving children pay me compliments on what a good mommy I am, and how much they love me. As I sat there though I teared up thinking of my sweet sister in law who is celebrating her very first Mothers Day. Only her experience was in no way like mine. She had to go visit her two sick twin boys in the hospital. She gave birth prematurely at 31 weeks, about a week and half ago. Her babies were not too healthy to start with and one just had heart surgery two days ago. Not only that but they had to move one, so she got to spend her mothers day visiting her two precious boys at two different hospitals.
I cry right now as I think about how very caught up we can become on little things, like manners, or chores, or annoyances, or just the responsibilities and inconveniences of being a mom. Those things do matter sometimes, as we cannot have ill mannered, lazy children. But how often do we let it warp our view on them as a whole? I know soo many mothers right now giving up on mothering because of the work and consistency that children need. I remember being one of those moms, just a few years ago. I would just plop my children in front of the t.v. for hours on end, just to have them "out of my hair". And then I would grumble say to my husband," I love those kids, but man will life be easier when they are older." You know what, I think no matter how much older they got, I still said the same thing! Because the problem was not my children's age, it was my heart. I also remember making the choice five years ago to cut off our ability to have more children, due to the sacrifice that motherhood demanded. My husband and I wanted to be "free" of the bonds of children. Little did we know that we were in a different bondage, not one caused by children, but one caused by our selfish hearts towards them. God has such a different view on everything, doesn't He? He says in Philippians 2:5-8
"⁵Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
⁶Who, being in very nature^a]">[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
⁷but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature^b]">[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
⁸And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

Did you read that? Our King came to serve! Yet we grumble about taking care of children, the VERY thing he calls blessing here in Psalm 127: 3-5

^"3 Sons are a heritage from the LORD,
children a reward from him.

⁴ Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one's youth.

⁵ Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their enemies in the gate"


But ohhh how I regret that decision of our vasectomy now. Children are different to me now. God showed me the importance of looking BEYOND the work of motherhood, to the JOY of motherhood. Some days that joy is more hidden that others, but it is always there.

I cannot help but think, that If I had just thought of mothering as a burden at 19 and single, my sweet spirited, precious Ireland, would not be here. And then, when my husband and I were already overwhelmed being a very young married couple, who had a two year old, and were separated by entire continents, could have chosen to not have more, I would never had that sweet little boy who is my absolute treasure. The same little boy who helped my clean up a whole box of dried spaghetti that I dropped all over the floor today, all the while saying, "don't worry mommy, I will help you, I still love you even though you drop stuff a lot."

Praise you my Lord and savior for putting life into my heart and prodding me to choose it, when it seemed like the wrong thing to do at the time. Your still small voice always speaks FOR LIFE. I thank you for that, and for my two precious "inconvenient" children. And hopefully MANY more to come.

Those random thoughts are just some of the things on my mind this Mothers Day.