Are we really Pro-life?

I know I haven't posted in a while, but that is due to a fantastic thing happening to me.......no longer addicted to the Internet, yay! No but seriously, my drive for Internet has decreased so dramatically in the past month that really all I want to do is hop on and check my email, and then hop right off again. It's been great, and my kids are really appreciating the all the fantastic cooking that has come from less time on the computer :) Since the first few weeks of our move transition were so stressful, I am taking time to do more things that bring me joy, i.e., taking my kids to the park, doing a bible study (Kay Arthur: Lord I Want to Know You has been great so far. It's right where I am at in my walk), cooking good healthy meals, and reading lots and lots of great Christian fiction :)

Sooooo, now that you know why I have been blogging ridiculously little lately, let's dive straight in to a controversial subject.

On to the topic at hand.

Are we pro-life? In asking that question I am going to present to you a scenario.

Imagine an Abortion clinic. It has a 6ft chain link fence around it, so that Christian protesters have to stand far enough away from the clients coming in to get their abortion.

A young woman pulls up in a beat up old car that spits and sputters and squeals until it comes it a jerky stop at the clinic. She slowly, sadly, but determinedly gets out, and begins to walk to the door when she hears a woman yell from the fence,
Protester: "Don't kill your baby! Please, God loves children, and He will provide for you, just trust Him!"

Young unwed teen: "Are you a Christian, lady?"

Protester:"Yes ma'am I am. Please choose life, God will work out all the details. He loves children and He loves you"

Young unwed teen: "Do you have a husband? A house? A car that works? Does your husband have a job?"

Protester: "Yes I do, actually."

Young unwed teen: "How many children do you have?"

Protester: "One boy and one girl......why do you ask?"

Young unwed mother: "Is that all you plan to have"

Protester: " OH yes, we decided our family was complete and my husband got a vasectomy 4 years ago. Again, why do you ask??"

Young unwed teen: "So your telling ME, a non believer, with no husband, no money, and no house, I should trust in "God" to provide for me when it comes to children, and to welcome that unwanted child into my life with open arms because God loves children. And YOU a Christian who trusts in the God I do not know, who has a husband, and money and a home, and a car that works, wont even DARE let the chance of conception happen because your so scared of having more."

Protester: "............choose life.............please....."

Young unwed teen: (as she turns to walk back to the abortion clinic she says over her shoulder) "yeah right......Hypocrite. IF you can't even trust him to take care of you and more children, why should I?"


She rings the bell and an Abortion nurse opens it for her. As the nurse is letting her in, she gets a glimpse of a different young lady among the protesters, and mumbles to herself "didn't I see that young woman in here a few weeks ago to pick up her birth control pills?"




So I ask you again, are you REALLY pro-life?

Let's be clear and make no confusion about my heart on this. I am not saying at all that if you use birth control of any kind, you are pro-abortion. I know many different families with many different views on children, and I know how much each one of them loves the Lord. I try and support all my friends in their personal decision that are between them, their husbands, and God.

But I cannot get away from the hypocrisy of it all when it comes to the pro-life movement in general.

Some of the women I knew, who I KNOW are pro-life, were so horrified when they found out my husband and I were getting a reversal and decided to let God bless us with more children. As many as He wanted actually. They were absolutely disgusted. How can I translate that with their STAUNCH pro-life stance? I just can't.

I volunteered as a counselor/client advocate at a crisis pregnancy resource center and all the while, my hope was that I could encourage, love on, and bring hope in the name of Christ to some of these hurting women. Not all women who came in wanted abortions, some just wanted a free pregnancy test. But some, whom I will never forget, where hurting, and scared, and desperately wanted to keep the baby, but didn't know how to make it work. They reminded me so much of myself at nineteen, pregnant, unmarried and scared to death , when I too had to walk in to a crisis pregnancy center because I couldn't even afford the ten dollar test. I remember the feelings of fear, hurt, and joy that you experience all at the same time when you find out your are expecting a VERY unplanned ill-timed pregnancy.

So I would comfort these women, and tell them about resources in the area who can help them with food, housing, and medical care. Then I would take them to the back room and give them maternity clothes so they could finally get out of their size 5 jeans that are being held together by a rubber band. I wanted so badly for them to know the love and peace of God. The peace that I had found. That is, in every area BUT children. My husband had a vasectomy when our second was only 2 weeks old. We loved the freedom that came with unprotected sex with no complications of having to deal with another pregnancy.

As I look back now I am filled with shame over my hypocrisy. Had any one of those women looked at me and asked "Do you trust God to take care of you if you get pregnant?". I would not have been able to answer.

Thank God that he has shown me the folly of my thinking in that area.

Some people reading this may think my judgments are harsh upon women unwilling to bear any more children for God. But the opposite is true. I RELATE! I remember the decision to get that vasectomy. I remember being sick my whole pregnancy, I remember my husband and I fighting so much, we walked the edge of divorce on more occasions than I could count. I remember feeling like, "I cannot do this again!"

But it was earthly, temporary and drenched in fear, not faith. It would not stay that way for long. Soon God would grow me and teach me to trust in Him. Soon my barren womb would cry out for life, only to be told every month, NO. My husband would also come under the same conviction and reverse what we had done.
I sit here now, 2 years after that reversal with no child to hold, no baby for my womb to nourish and grow, as it begs me each month to do. I grieve as all the women before me have grieved over infertility. Only mine was self inflicted. Fertility was a gift that I took for granted. Something I once had, but we broke.

BUT AT LEAST now I can say honestly to any woman who asks, I am pro-life. I will welcome any child God chooses to give me. And if you choose not to raise your child, I will gladly welcome that child into my home also.


In closing I say with love, don't just be pro-life in your politics.....be pro-life in your homes.